“How do I stop the crazy voice in my head that keeps talking to me making me worry, build doubt and sometimes makes me question myself?” Hello & thank you for asking a question we get by many people. We like to think of that voice as your lie detector. Sometimes the voice makes you feel good and other times it makes you feel really bad, angry and sad.

We call it the lie detector because you have trained the voice to believe lies that you have been told all your life.  When you were born you were perfect, thought life was perfect and you weren’t afraid to be you.  As you got older and people told you no, you can’t do that or stop and be realistic you started to create lies in your head about who you are and who you should be.

The thoughts that make you feel bad, aka the voice inside your head that are telling you lies, were ones that you have created for yourself.  You are perfect the way you are, you always have been, it’s just that you started believing at an early young age that you are not, so that’s when the lies started infiltrating that voice inside of you.

To be honest we don’t think that you will ever be able to turn off that voice, because they also have great benefit, but you can start training it to think differently and feed you more thoughts that feel good vs. the ones that make you feel bad.  The goal is to start breaking your thinking patterns and decipher what are lies you have been telling yourself.  Once you realize that the lie is disempowering you and making you feel bad about who you are you will be ready to start building a new belief system within yourself.

You will be able to start replacing the lies with thoughts that move you forward, make you feel good and create happiness because you are now thinking thoughts created by the YOU that lives right now in very present moment, not the person that was young and gullible.

You’re not alone in these feelings and in fact this is a common theme we hear from many people. Let me ask you a few questions:

What takes the wind out of your sail?

How do you want to feel throughout the day?

How do you want to feel when you come home?

Do you believe that you have control over your feelings?

Are your thoughts throughout the day things that make you feel good or are they “worry” thoughts?

The first place to start is to determine how you want to feel. Then from here once you’ve decided you must believe that it is possible for YOU to create these good feelings.

Usually when your energy/happiness is sucked out of you throughout the day is because you’ve allowed something or someone to change your mood. We encourage you to KEEP your POWER and don’t allow others to determine how YOU feel. This is something very personal and private for you and please know you posses the ability and strength to make the choice on how YOU want to feel in ANY situation.

Just because someone is mad at you doesn’t mean you have to feel bad. Just because you made a mistake at work doesn’t mean that you have to feel inferior. And just because you got into a fight with your significant other doesn’t mean that your day is ruined.

Being aware of how you feel and KNOWING that you have the power to shift your mindset to feel however you want anytime & anyplace will empower you to make the BEST choice.

Just because in the PAST you used to feel a certain way when something similar has happened doesn’t mean that you have to repeat history. Create a new NORMAL and a new history. Don’t do what you’ve done in the past if you want different results.

I know this can be challenging at first but the more you practice learning how to make yourself happy the happier you are going to be!!!

Your “weight and body” are just the excuse why you don’t feel this way about yourself already. You’re really not mad at your body and you’re body is not going to change the way you feel about you.

This is why you see yo-yo dieters all the time. They think that their weight/body image is going to cure something inside of them to magically feel amazing when in reality the weight just covers up the insecurities you feel inside.

It’s like money…. I like to think of money as energy and when you make more money it just illuminates more of who you are on the inside. So if you’re a jerk and you have lots of money you just become a bigger jerk.

On the other hand of you’re a loving giving person the money will illuminate just more of that.

Falling in love with yourself is a process and takes work everyday. The more you love who you are on the inside who you are on the outside is going to start becoming a bigger reflection of who you choose to be.

The weight will start coming off easier. Making more money will start feeling simple and your journey through life will feel flowing and easy.

Healing takes time and self-reflection. You overeat because the food makes you feel _________________. However after you eat how do you feel about yourself? Probably worse. It’s a vicious cycle and the cure lies within your spirit.

Don’t be afraid to go there, uncover those feelings because that’s where the healing will begin.

I can’t begin to tell you how perfect you are just the way you are. You may not believe it, but I know you are. I don’t see weight. I don’t see size. I see the beauty you truly are and when you do too everything that your believe you want for yourself will start materializing in your life.

FLY LOVES YOU!

We are not asking you NOT to be you. We hope that you are always true to you. In fact the more YOU that you become the more of what you want will start showing up in your life.

What we are saying is that your way of thinking needs to change and that is what is going to get you new results. You are used to following the “bad” feelings – things that don’t necessarily make you feel good but are already “routine, standard, the way of life, what’s popular, what’s accepted, what’s you’ve known, what’s comfortable.”

These things don’t necessarily make you feel good but you keep doing them and as you’re doing them you keep getting frustrated…. It’s a vicious unending cycle that we know you can break.

“So you mean change my perspective on things, the way I react and respond to things in my life and changing the meaning I give what people tell me will keep me from getting frustrated so often? Also, not being afraid to go against my own NORM and finally go out on a limb and doing what truly makes me feel good?  Or even if it doesn’t make me feel good the fact that I get to try new ways of being that will allow me to finally see what makes me happy…. WOW I’m getting excited just thinking about it!!!”

You are very smart and that’s exactly what we’re talking about. It’s just like someone who wants to loose weight but keeps eating fast food at 2am. Unless they change their thoughts about going to eat bad food it will be a frustrating road. Remember the actions will follow, it’s your thoughts and the meaning you give them that are the catalyst for all the change.

“Thank you. I know there is a lot of work I have to do but if I start one thought at a time I know I’ll get there. If I want a different life I know it’s all up to me. So I can’t think like I have been or else I’l’ get more of what I already have, which is what I don’t want in a lot of areas of my life. I am on the road to following what makes me feel good…. I may be scared sometimes but I am jumping in 2 feet first regardless of anyone else’s reactions……”

“Thank you for seeing the beauty in me that I see in myself. Sure, you’re delivery is kinda cheesy and actually really repulsive but I can’t blame you for noticing me.

I am not going to judge you for approaching me this way. This is who you are and this is how you try and get women’s attention. Once again I can’t blame you. If I were a man I would want to hit on me too. Not necessarily the way you are doing it, but to each his own!

So thank you once again for noticing in me what I already know about myself. Yes I am beautiful. Yes I am attractive. Yes men of all kinds are going to hit on me in all kinds of ways. Yes I am an amazing woman. I am flattered. I am appreciative. I post no judgement on you!

And just because I won’t ever give you my phone # doesn’t mean that I have to be rude, un-acknowledging or squemish that you are hitting on me.”

You are a powerful, loving, trusting amazing person and when you know this everyone else will know it too. So don’t be mad at others for seeing it in you. Be appreciative. Sure the delivery is not always going to be great, but don’t judge others for it, they’re not you and don’t act like you!

Do you know a skeptic? Someone that is so cautious of everything, ready to shoot down any idea & doesn’t take action themselves? Do they influence your decisions? Do you feed into their negativity? Are they your spouse or someone that you can’t help being around? What do you do to not get sucked into the vortex of skepticism?

If they are someone that you can distance yourself from we recommend doing exactly that! If they don’t bring anything positive that you can take away and they are just an energy suck you get to release that from your surroundings.

It doesn’t mean that you don’t love them or care for them. It means whatever meaning you give it. We suggest that you give it an empowering meaning. Talk to yourself and say (pretend their name is Joe):

“Joe is a wonderful person and means well. I wish him the best in life and will be here if he truly needs my support. Right now I chose to be surrounded in an environment that promotes what I want in life. I get to be with people that are forward progressing and sees a big bright future. The kind of people who aren’t afraid to go after what they want. I want to make myself happy and being in this new environment will do just that.”

From here you get to transition your relationship with Joe. Don’t think of it as not being friends or ever seeing him again, but the friendship is just entering a new chapter.

Now if they are someone that you live with it’s a bit more challenging to transition your relationship. What we recommend in this area is to really really really be allowing and let the person be who they are.

When they are skeptical know that’s who they are and who they are choosing to be. Don’t try to change them or get upset. The truth of the matter is that you know that’s how they are and you cannot control or change anyone else.

The more you try the more frustrated you will get. Let them be them and you do you. That’s the first step. The next step is understanding what it is you want.

Do you know what you want? If who the negative person is doesn’t support what you want for yourself then you get to start making some serious decisions.

Tell them how it affects you. Tell them what kind of environment you want to be surrounded in. In the end it’s all about you and whatever makes you feel good. Don’t give into the pressures of “what it should look like.”

Don’t live in that space of not feeling good. You are sabotaging your life’s happiness, dreams and purpose.

“I woke up feeling OK this morning. Somewhere in the 5-6 range. I have a long day ahead and want to make sure I get to an 8 or 9. What can I do to increase my energy?” Thank you for asking. We acknowledge you for noticing your feelings and desire to make a change. A lot of times you just accept what is and we want to let you know that you do not need to accept what is. You have the ability to create whatever it is that you want and if feeling better is what you want we are here to support you in getting there.

Remember there are only 2 kinds of feelings – things that make you feel bad and things that make you feel good. Feeling at a 5-6 means that you feel bad. So our goal is to get you in a direction to help you start feeling good.

Think of feelings like the wind. You can go against the wind and struggle to move which equals following bad feelings. Or you can go with the flow of the wind and move gracefully with ease which is equal to following good feelings.

You decide, it’s your choice… But let me tell you, if you want your goals and dreams to become a reality you have to start going with the flow instead of constantly fighting it with your feelings of doubt, fear, insecurity, worry and contentment.

Ok, so you’re at a 5-6 and going against the wind right now. The best way to shift toward the other direction is to just stop where you are right now. In order to do that I want you to take 6 deep breaths and when you inhale send your breath to all the places in you body where the 5-6 feelings linger. When you exhale breath out the feelings.

When you get to breath #4 I want you to breath in happy energy (have a smile on your face) and send it to the places in your body that were once filled with bad feelings. On the exhale continue breathing out any energy that doesn’t make you feel good.

This breathing process will get you back to equilibrium… Meaning that you’re not feeling bad, but you’re not quite feeling good yet.  We would rather you be in this space than feeling bad b/c from here it’s easy to shift in the positive direction.

Now I want you to say 2 things that you want. They must be something that makes you feel good, puts a smile on your face and as you are saying it you start feeling excited and optimistic.

These feeling will start shifting your mindset in the positive direction.  Please please please do not put any negative energy on them like the “What if’s… This is not real… This would never happen… If only…”

Believe they will happen and they will happen.  You may not start feeling an 8-9 right away but if you focus your energy on the things you want and constantly imagine them happing your feelings will start shifting and moving towards a much happier place.

When you judge their relationship and carry negative feelings towards them you are secretly sabotaging your own relationships. By allowing them to be as they are and make choices that you wouldn’t necessarily make in your own life you are saying to them:

“I respect that you chose to live your life how you want. I may not like the decisions you are making and wouldn’t chose them for myself, but I understand that we are two completely different people and have the freedom to live how we want.  I know that the choices you make do not have to affect my experience of my own reality in any negative ways. If I let it that’s my bad and I am sorry for ever blaming you.”

Hold all other women in a positive loving light. We all get to support each other and love each other for who we are.  This doesn’t mean we’re all best friends, but if you can allow me to be me, do me and make my own decisions whether bad or good we can coexist in love vs. jealousy, lack and animosity.

We appreciate your truth and honesty about the meaning you give your life and believe us when we say you are not alone. This is a common feeling that many people feel on a daily basis and our wish for you is that you start to feel like this less and less.

In order to do that we want you to take yourself outside of your life for a minute. Imagine yourself floating above your life and looking in as a third party. Please take out a pen & paper and draw a big circle in the middle. In the circle I want you to write all the things you see about your life right now, use feelings and emotions to depict what you see.

Happy, angry, loves life sometimes, struggling for money, no enough time with the kids, good mom, bad mom, confused, etc…. Go to town with this exercise and really look at yourself from a far.

Now I want you to draw 4 circles at each corner of the big circle.  On the top of each circle I want you to label them Financial/Career, Relationships, Mental/Emotional, and ME.

For each of the outter circles I want you to answer this question: In my Financial/Career circle I WANT TO FEEL _____________.  Continue doing this for each circle.  So an example can look like this. In my ME circle I want to feel:

-Remember that I come first

-Only I make me happy

-My body is my own and I love and respect it

-When I am sad it’s ok

-I am perfect just the way I am

-When I am truly me everything I want comes

I want you to write and think of things that make you happy and fill you with joy.  This is your 8, 9, 10 feeling vibration. I believe it’s hard for you to reconnect to your highest vibrations because in moments of stress, insecurity and anger it’s very difficult to remember what they are.  If you have this list and can refer to it often you have a much better chance of coming back to your true essence a lot quicker.

Think of this as your mental GPS. When you go out and are ready to come home you plug your home address into your GPS and it sends a signal (also known as vibration) to give you directions to come back home. You will take a series of twists and turns to get home, but you will always arrive at home.

Think of your “home” as your true essence. The feelings that you truly want to feel and connect with but at this moment you are just lost.  Know that your emotional GPS exists and it’s your job to hit the on button and set your destination to “home”.

Ok, so now you know your feelings are a magnet all you have to do is change your feelings… Hahahaha easier said than done, right? Absolutely! This is why it is so crucial to be present and the minute these feelings start to surface you must ACKNOWLEDGE them right away before they reach stage 5 alert and you’re so deep into it the process to get out hurts.

So let’s say you’re angry. You know you’re angry and this makes you start thinking about things that make you angry. Self talk can sound like this:

“This sucks. I am so pissed off right now. How could he say that to me. You know what, now that I really think about it he does this to me all the time. Why do I put up with this. In fact I let people in my life for them just to take, take, take…”

The conversation in your head could go on for days, but we’re here to help you stop it. So after you’re done throwing the pity party let the real you talk to you and tell the negative you to shut-up.

“Ok enough’s enough. I feel like crap. I’m sad. I’m angry. I want to just disconnect. But honestly that’s just going to get me more of what I don’t want to feel. I feel bad and I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I am making the conscious decision to stop the downward spiral right now. I may not know how to turn around just yet and go in the positive direction but at least I am not goingfurther into my s*&t.”

After you have this conversation the burden on your shoulders will feel a lot lighter. The trick is to get in the habit of prevention – preventing that downward spiral and catching it at the beginning stages.